Drive Like a Good Neighbor

This morning on my way to work I was on a residential Oak Park street when I got a good long loud honk from the driver behind me when I didn't move right away when the light turned green. (I was blowing my nose.) I don't know, first thing in the morning like that, with all my windows open, it really upset me. I mean, I understand, I've been there, behind a driver who hasn't seen the light turn green yet. But all you need is a light tap. Those long angry honks are for more passionate moments. Well I'm an especially emotional creature lately so I honked back, a series of fist-bangs on my little hybrid Honda horn, like a yappy dog. It had no punch. I turned a street later and looked back to see their windows all closed. I got another honk for my evil look. I had a hard time calming down after that. I wanted to yell something like "be nice you jerk." (I have actually yelled "be nice" and "calm down" at other drivers before.)

When I first moved back to Illinois from NYC I had to adjust back to driving culture, and had a serious case of road rage. What I realized was that it was unhealthy and unhelpful, so I came up with a technique whereby I think of a good reason why the other driver seems to be doing someting stupid. For instance, oh, he must be doing 2-mph over the tracks because his kid has got a small fish bowl of goldfish in his lap and he doesn't want to spill, or, his passenger must have a broken arm in a cast so he's being slow and gentle. I mean, you just don't know, do you? Another techinique of mine is to act counter-intuitively. If I'm in a huge hurry and find myself speeding, I will slow down and let someone from a side street into the flow of traffic instead of speeding by for someone else to be nice. It doesn't ever make me late (or later than I already am), and it always calms me down.

Some seem to think it's a race and they are being clever, and that those who take it easy or who are "bad drivers" don't deserve any consideration. The kind that believe if you don't fight your way in then you don't deserve to get in, too bad for you, I'm not makin' room for you. I took pity on a student driver stuck where they should have merged but obviously put on the breaks instead and the lane of moving traffic wouldn't let them in, so I slowed down and signalled and waved and rolled my eyes as he hesitated. We are a community of drivers, we incorporate driving into our funerals, even. Try to be nice to others when you are on the road. I'm pregnant and you can't see that when I'm behind the wheel. Nor can you see my toddler in his car seat. But I am a careful driver. Have respect for that! I'm not saying I'm perfect, my foot gets a bit heavy sometimes, but I'm not a bad driver, despite my femaleness or my blonde hair!! And you better think about consequences before you honk or give me the finger-- you think you are in the right and sending a message, but you are just being mean, and are more likely to make me cry than anything, and there is nothing in that to be proud of my friend.

I'll admit, tho, that I have a sense of entitlement being pregnant. I get especially upset when others drive recklessly around me. Don't they know I'm pregnant? (Or course not.) Don't they know they should be especially nice and careful around me? (Of course they don't.) Buncha jerks, I'm tellin' ya.