Crawling Around

Well, last night was...interesting. I was feeling pretty fatigued to begin with, when these erratic contractions in my lower back/upper pelvis took ahold. I was upstairs getting Tyler ready for bed. I got so far as getting a good cloth diaper on him (which is always a struggle as he kicks and giggles or won't cooperate) when he managed to scootch it down so he could "pee pee on the potty." Then he took it off entirely, and I sat on the floor of his room hoping the pains would pass. He ran around naked, playing, rumaging through his books, and climbing me as I sat with my forehead on the glider's ottoman. I couldn't get up, I couldn't lift him, I couldn't hold him still to get a new diaper on him, much less his jammies, and I couldn't talk him into cooperating with anything. After about 30 or 40 minutes of freebie late-night naked-time that extended way past his bed-time, I decided to crawl down the hall to the phone and see if a friend or even Ben from work could come and just please slap a disposable on him and lift him into his crib for me. (He's been going back and forth between his toddler bed and his crib, and my bed too, so I didn't much care where he slept, actually.) I didn't get far when Tyler announced he was ready for his diaper ("diaper on!") and so I put on a disposable right there on the floor, and he helped me get his jammies on. He didn't get to bed until after 9p.m. The pains got better around then, too. I've decided to keep my cell phone on me at all times from here on out.

I had wanted to go to LaLeche Tuesday night, too, but couldn't find anyone to watch him. While they allow you to bring your baby, loud and active 2-year-olds I'm not thinking would work well at the meetings. As it is I always get help getting him in and out of the car anymore, and even going down the street, well, not so much! As it turns out being home was best. But that was my last LaLeche opportunity before the new year. Kind of a bummer. I'm going to have to call the organizers to get local lactation consultants names.

It's highly frustrating, trying to explain to friends that don't have kids how impossible it is to do anything. They have no idea. Maybe I have too much of a sense of entitlement when I ask for help, perhaps I have the wrong attitude, it's certainly not very Buddhist of me to get so angry. Of course my friends have no idea how upset I get, because I don't haul off and yell or cry because I know I'm being a little crazy, you know? I've missed all the LaLeche meetings, I went to only 2 out of 6 prenatal yoga classes this last session, I haven't been able to make any of the latest book groups at the library, and missed all of the films being shown by OPCTJ, I haven't been to any DFA meetings since summer, my participation in the parents' group my friend and I started has dribbled down to nothing, I've only been out shopping with a friend once (with Tyler in stroller), and, well, this really gets to you after awhile. I'm afraid cabin fever will set in once I have the baby, so I'll be counting on getting visitors! The guest room is clean, except for the pile of toddler shoes in the corner, which I invite you to help sort and store! :-)